Brad is a sinner
AND he's a young man. Combine these two volatile substances and the
explosion invariably produced will be lust. Yup. Even the squeaky clean
kid who compliments those old grandmas on their Easter hats and is the
first to volunteer to help stack the chairs at church, if he's a young
man and a sinner will also struggle with lust.
I found out about
Brad's particular struggle one day when I asked him routinely if there
was anything that I could be praying for. With a slight halting
embarrassment he said, " Uh ... you know ... uh ... the stuff that guys
tend to struggle with ... uh ... lust ..."
Even though these
conversations can be difficult, the hardest part of our ministry is NOT
our ministry directly to boys and young men. The hardest part of our
ministry is seeing how reticent fathers are to disciple their own
children. Brad is a typical example of most young Christian men. He'd
never talked to his dad about this subject and His father had never
talked to him about it in any more than vague generalities. So for years
his son has been struggling under a burden of sin that could have been
quickly lifted by the assistance of the man sitting on the couch right
next to him. There is no one in a better position to be able to help our
sons become godly men than us.
I encouraged Brad
to talk to his dad that night, which to his credit he did, and later he
described how the immense weight of his sin had immediately been lifted.
He felt great! In fact, since then God has been gracious to give Brad
victory in this area that had burdened him for years. One dad who
invests in his son is B1000 times more effective than a whole stadium
full of pastors, youth workers, or well intentioned friends.
 |
| For years Brad had been struggling under a burden of sin that could have been quickly lifted by the assistance of the man sitting on the couch right next to him. |
Dad's are supposed to be the coaches that help their sons practice the game
of life in a secure and loving environment so that when game time
actually comes they are prepared. Instead dads deceive themselves into
thinking that if they simply take the role of a cheerleader rather than a
coach, they are doing their job. But cheerleaders don't prepare
winners. In fact they are a distraction not a help.
Two choices are
left when our sons hit the field unprepared. We either continue to cheer
them on as they fumble the ball and head for the wrong goal post all
the while using our pompoms to cover our eyes in bittersweet denial OR
we get upset at them for doing such a terrible job and throw our pompoms
down John McEnroe style in embarrassed disgust. The problem is that
much of the failure of our sons reflects our own failure as fathers. We
should have used the strong hands God gave us for more noble purposes
than gripping those silly pompoms.
Dads -- we have
the power to be used by God to free our sons, or to sit idly by
foolishly hoping that our sons will "figure it out" more effectively
than we did. Let's not be stupid. The results will be just as disastrous
as it was for us. Don't you think our Heavenly father is pleased when
dads follow his example and mercifully go to our sons to help them in
their need rather than waiting for our sons to force us to do our job?
Pick up the mantel God has given you dads! Cultivate and enjoy the fruit
that Malachi promised would grow in the lives of families in which the
gospel is present. Take those steps needed to turn your heart toward
your children and theirs toward yours. -- Malachi 4:6
Don't know where
to start? I'm sure your pastor would be relieved if YOU came to him for
some proactive suggestions. And I am only an email away! :)
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